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Life behind the eyes of a person in trouble

Sun, 13 May 2012 04:22:26 +0200

Being close to someone not properly defined “normal” from the society in which we all live in helps you understand many things. We should be an emancipated society, a society composed of people who are judged for what they are not as they appear.

Unfortunately real life comes out in a completely different way. There are so many discrimination and people are judged only for their clothes or their cars. Above all, people are classified from our society in “normal people” and “strange people”.

Staying in touch with someone with disabilities helps you see your life from a different point of view and helps you to better know the people who you are surrounded.

Walking through the streets with someone with “troubles” can make you understand what it means to be avoided, to be laughed and judged even before to have a chance to say just one word. Another things that you can better understand is the different ways in which people behave in front of these guys.

Some people turn their face in another side, some people pretend not to know, other ones instead trying to help or feel sorry for them.

What I learnt is something different. These people don’t like to be judged in the same way that they hate to be pitied. They are people in the same way we are and so they just would like to be treated like persons and, in a Utopian world, like a normal persons.

Maybe it’s a bit complicated I know, sometimes it’s the same for me, but they have much to give us and we have much to learn from them. Their lives are more complicated than ours and they don’t need also that we complicate theirs even more.

“All men are created equal” - Thomas Jefferson

What we commonly call home

Mon, 07 May 2012 00:03:00 +0200

What is the real meaning of the term home? Too often we take for granted that home is the place in which we sleep, in which we take some rest, the place in which we simply have a roof over our heads.

Honestly I cannot agree with this simplistic point of view. In these last years I learnt the place we call home is something much more important.

Everyone needs his own roof over the head, everyone needs a place in which sleep, but everyone needs a place in which escape from evil and all bad things that every day happen.

Home is the place in which I don’t feel like a guest in. Home is the place in which I can turn off the jack. Home is the place in which I wanna go back when something bad happens. Home is the place in which a blanket can cover me from all evil thoughts and hide the tears that no one should see. Home is the place in which I feel really good. Home is the place in which I can close my eyes. Home is the place in which I can hear the sound of my thoughts.

Home is just my own home. Nothing else.

There’s gotta be one place that I will call home again.

Priorities

Wed, 11 Apr 2012 01:51:15 +0200

Everyone has their own priorities. Luckily, as hard as we try, we can’t impose our priorities on others.

Past days I’ve had the opportunity to examine my life and my priorities before it’s too late. Contrary to what I might think, my priorities seem oriented towards unexpected destinations.

For a long time I believed that some aspects of our lives would have influenced much more than what is really happening. On the other hand, other aspects of our lives that should not make us feel so bad are making me suffer more than I could think of.

I don’t like my priorities in this period of my life. I need to change them before it’s really too late.

Powerless

Sun, 08 Apr 2012 07:04:00 +0200

When you try your best but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse.

I tried my best in many different ways but where are the results? Am I the only one that can’t see those results? Everyone close to me says “you’re strong, you’re young, you have your whole life ahead of you…don’t waste it”.

Honestly, I’m sick to hear these words. I’m sick of it all. I’m trying to find a single thing that goes well in this time but I still haven’t found that.

When you try your best… I tried my best but everything went wrong. I tried to find a solution for all those things that hurt me but I didn’t succeed. Even worse, those things went down.

No one close to me knows what I really have. No one close to me could imagine what’s happening to me. My friends, my parents, no one. I’m a bit worried about the symptoms that I am accusing but I can’t share my problems with anyone. But rightly so, I don’t need to load no one of my problems.

The mask still works fine but I’m so tired to hiding, I’m tired of being forced to show to the world that all is well, that all goes well. I only need to be myself, I’d like to be my real me but I’m not sure people will like him.

Life’s too short to even care at all oh
I’m losing my mind losing my mind losing control

It’s so strange. Despite all I feel inside, the only thing I can do at this time is to worry about those people who would like to help, those people I’d like to be close. I can not provide appropriate evidence to these people that I’m worried, very worried about them but it is as if there was a mysterious force that doesn’t allow me to properly express what I feel. It is as if I could demonstrate just the opposite of what I feel.

Anyway life goes on but it gets so heavy. And I feel even more powerless.

People are mean

Sun, 25 Mar 2012 12:59:47 +0200

People are mean.

Isn’t that a news? I know. Today I had yet another lesson about that.

No expectations, no disappointments

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 03:22:44 +0100

No expectations, no disappointments.

The first time I heard this quote I thought long and hard about what it really means. Honestly, I wasn’t pretty sure whether to apply this quote was correct for people around me, but time has taught me that it was (at least for me).

Until we made expectations on a person it’s quite simple that this person can disappoint all those expectations.

People shouldn’t have any obligation towards me, and rightly so. This is my way to allow people close to me to feel free. I don’t want that nobody depends on me and, above all, nobody feels in debt with me.

I’m using too many times the pronoun “me”.

Anyway, the most important reason why I’d like to apply as much as possible this quote is related to me. If we have no expectations on a person, every single little thing this person will do for us will seem us amazing and will leave us speechless.

It’s a strange feeling. Sometimes I wouldn’t give up to have expectations, they should make me feel alive. Sometimes I’d like to fly with my mind and dream what people could do for me, maybe because I’ve never been used to feel like someone cares about me.

I know this feeling, looks like I was blindfolded in those moments but luckily I’m going back almost immediately to be rational.

Expectations only lead to disappointment.

The weight of a snowflake

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 02:39:00 +0100

What could be the weight of a snowflake? Usually it should be nothing more than nothing but not in this night. Tonight the snow has a special value for me. Each single little tiny meaningless snowflake seems to be very heavy.

Probably anything on this earth seems to me heavy tonight and I’d like to raise all those things with one finger. I’m asking myself from a couple of hours why I feel these sensations and the answer was the same every time.

The answer I gave to me was you. I see snowflakes as if they were each thing that could hurt you, each thing that could make you cry, be sick, be suffering or be anxious. Well, tonight I would lift the entire world with a finger to make you feel better, even if only for a while.

So, what could be the weight of a snowflake? Nothing more than nothing I hope.

Snowflake?

It's too bad that we had no time to rewind

Sun, 10 Jul 2011 23:41:48 +0200

It’s too bad that we had no time to rewind.

Chad Kroeger says so in Too Bad. Probably our lives are too fast and we never have time to stop and think about our actions. How many times we feel guilty about what we did?

Often I’d like to come back and say “sorry” to someone but I have no time. Yes, I have no time. Even better…I’ll never have time. Let’s say so.

I know, I’ll never find time to do that…I’m too proud and that’s too bad.

When a smile makes your day better

Sat, 09 Jul 2011 20:53:18 +0200

Someday we haven’t the desire to get out of our room, our bed is the only thing we would like to hear on our skin.

Yesterday was one of those days. No desire to get out of bed, no desire to struggle with the world. There were all the expectations for a boring day. And it was so…until I saw her and her smile.

I don’t know who’s that girl and why her smile made my day an happy day! :)

Smile by Murtada Md Nor

I haven't had nothing to say for a long time

Wed, 06 Jul 2011 21:28:04 +0200

I haven’t had nothing to say for a long time but now I felt again the need to write. I don’t know why, I guess that I just do.

Today I learned something that I should have to know for a long time: people are strange. It doesn’t matter if they are male or female, they are strange! Ok, probably (certainly) when we are talking about girls the question is more complicated but in that case it doesn’t matter the gender: People are strange. Maybe the fault is my own but, damn, why do you need to hurt me?

I can’t help myself from looking further

Tue, 05 Jul 2011 23:37:33 +0200

I can’t help myself from looking further.

Well, I can’t stop myself… I don’t know if that’s really a big problem but I think I need to take some rest. Some rest from the “thoughts”, some rest from the work, some rest from……..the whole world. Where is the jack of my head?

Relax yourself, daemon says my friend @blackdirtymoleskine; Relax yourself, daemon running through my head.

Let’s say so…I can’t help myself from looking further